Three Bennet Girls and a Galactic War
by ophelia-drank-coffee
Summary: The characters of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in the setting of Star Wars. Mr. Bennet works on the Death Star. He and his family live on a planet called Longbourn. The story starts with a diplomatic mission from Netherfield.
1. Prologue

The settings, characters, and other recognizable elements of this story belong to George Lucas/Disney/Jane Austen. I mixed and matched what they came up with.

 **A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,**

 **it was a truth universally acknowledged**

 **that a single man in possession of good**

 **fortune must be in want of a wife...**


	2. Chapter 1

The Galactic Wars affected everyone. Take Planet Longbourn for example. It was mostly populated by Vader's officers and their families. If social status was the goal, imperial-officer-hood was a fine thing. But it was also miserably unstable. Every day on the Death Star, an officer ran the risk of getting Force-choked, which was enough to make anybody a nervous wreck. Especially in the case of the officer married to Mrs. Bennet, who at the moment gave her husband this speech:

"King Bingley of the planet Netherfield! A KING! Moving into our neighborhood! You HAVE to send him a hologram! He could fall in love with one of the girls! Can you imagine? Of course you can't because you aren't sending the hologram! I can't BELIEVE you aren't jumping at this opportunity! What do you think will happen to us if one of the girls doesn't make a good match? I'll tell you! You'll die and Collins will get promoted to your job, and we'll lose our money and our house, and the girls and I will be out on the streets! We'll be reduced to destitute slaves on Tatooine!"

Mr. Bennet recorded the hologram. It was the only way he could get her to shut up.


	3. Chapter 2

"Founding Day" was a big deal on Longbourn, especially this year, the twentieth anniversary of the founding of the empire. In the Bennets' neighborhood, the Lucases were always the hosts. Their daughter, Charlotte, spent most of the party talking with her friends Elizabeth and Jane Bennet. Meanwhile, the youngest Bennet, Lydia, flirted with attractive fighter-pilots. She was accompanied by her mute, useless protocol droid, K1T3. Unfortunately, the other Bennet droid was also an embarrassment. A virus plagued M4R3 that made it play horrible music at every social event. The trouble was that it behaved very well in every other situation, so the family always forgot about the virus issue before parties. It was considered extremely bad manners to shut off a droid in public, so the unpleasant noise had to be tolerated. On the whole, nothing about the party strayed from the norms of same-old-same-old Longbourn upper-class society.

Until the the new neighbors arrived. Two handsome, well-dressed men, the only strangers in the room, attracted the curiosity of all the local people. Clearly, the shorter one was the politician. His cheery disposition and talkativeness won the hearts of the people. No wonder he had been elected king of a planet. The taller man stood next to Bingley with a condescending expression on his face. He wouldn't talk to anyone if he could avoid it. Mrs. Bennet really couldn't stand not knowing anything about this person, so she carried out an investigation. Eventually, she informed Mrs. Harper, "His name is Fitzwilliam Darcy. Mrs. Anderson told me that her sister has a friend who told her who told me that his father was the king of the planet Pemberley when he was alive, which technically makes Fitzwilliam a prince, even though he doesn't like to use the title. And he's ridiculously wealthy, and his family has important connections all over the Galaxy."

As Mrs. Bennet gossiped, Elizabeth delighted in watching Jane and Bingley practically fall in love at first sight. Of course, Jane's shyness prevented outsiders from recognizing her affection. But Elizabeth saw it. They made eye contact, she blushed, he spoke, she spoke. Two beautiful people with sunny dispositions, the universe cried out in favor of the match! It was perfect! It was magical! But Bingley couldn't ignore the other guests, so he eventually continued to make the rounds.

At first, Elizabeth had trouble forming an opinion of Darcy. He was certainly handsome. When he spoke, he sounded intelligent and confident. But something was off. Then she overheard Bingley say, "Darcy, try to enjoy yourself a little. All of the girls here are pretty. Elizabeth Bennet is nice. Why don't you talk to her?"

"She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me."

 _What_ did he just say?

"TOLERABLE! He called me TOLERABLE!" Elizabeth said to Jane after the party.


	4. Chapter 3

Mrs. Bennet had a plan.

Phase 1. Have M4R3 rig the hovercraft so that it will break down after a drive to Bingley's house.

Phase 2. Send Jane to Bingley's house in the hovercraft.

Phase 3. Hovercraft breaks down.

Phase 4. Send a mechanic to fix it.

Phase 5. Jane and Bingley fall in love.

Phase 6. Buy wedding dress.

Phase 7. Send invitations.

Phase 8. Cry at wedding.

Phase 9. Move Jane into royal palace on Netherfield.

To a certain extent, the plan worked. Except, to Mrs. Bennet's disappointment, Jane was too nervous to go without Elizabeth. So they were both stuck at Bingley's house until late that night waiting for the hovercraft to get fixed.

Darcy announced the latest news:

"Princess Leia's ship has been captured. She says she's on a diplomatic mission from Alderaan, but rebel activity is suspected."

"I don't believe it!" Bingley said.

"Princess Leia, a rebel!" Jane almost whispered.

"It would be out of character for her to join the rebels," Elizabeth said.

"Don't be so surprised," Darcy said, "Princess Leia is exactly the sort of person who would disapprove of the Empire and do something about it."

"Mr. Darcy, do you really think of her as a liar? If you cannot trust one of the most respected leaders of our time to be truthful, who can you trust?"

"In times like these, Miss Bennet, only a few people have the luxury of knowing the truth, let alone telling it."

"What a dreary galaxy you must live in, Mr. Darcy."

Alderaan blew up the next day. Maybe it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was. Yes, a massive weapon specifically designed for planet-destruction had loomed over their heads for some time. Yes, Mr. Bennet worked in that weapon, and he knew it was called the "Death Star" for good reason. But nobody expected the thing to actually be used. It was all supposed to be for show, to scare the rebels. Why would a leader destroy his own territory, especially Alderaan, where there wasn't even a military base?

Not long afterward, Bingley hosted a large party in order to get to know his neighbors, or so he claimed. There was only one neighbor he was really interested in seeing.

When she read the invitation, Mrs. Bennet was ecstatic. She squealed and jumped and giggled in the most irritating way imaginable. To an outsider, it looked like she had lost her senses. But she had a good reason to be happy.

Mrs. Bennet had two brothers. It was common knowledge that her younger brother was a Jedi knight who was killed at the end of the Clone Wars. And that alone was enough to ostracize her from society had she not married an imperial officer. Her older brother was a well-kept secret. If that secret were to be revealed, the Bennets would face the consequences of treason. Unless, of course, there were someone in the family with the resources to provide security from such consequences, like a king.


	5. Chapter 4

The Bennets excelled in embarrassing themselves. They displayed their prowess in that field during Bingley's party. A disaster ensued.

M4R3 played loud, horrible music. Lydia teased the fighter-pilots in a more disturbingly forward way than ever before. Mrs. Bennet spread gossip about Jane and Bingley getting married when, in reality, they were hardly acquaintances. And, finally, Mr. Bennet shut off M4R3 in front of the whole party and frightened all of the other droids.

Elizabeth felt she would have died of embarrassment if it weren't that Jane and Bingley actually enjoyed each other's company. They were so absorbed in their own conversation that they could ignore every single faux pas. If they ended up together, Elizabeth thought, perhaps all of this nonsense served a purpose.

Then her attention was distracted by a handsome fighter-pilot named Wickham. A great listener, a perfect gentlemen, a charming smile, of course any girl would swoon over him. Naturally, it came up that Elizabeth knew Darcy. Wickham, it turned out, grew up with Darcy. His father had been Darcy's father's campaign manager. The Wickhams and the Darcys were so close that when Darcy's father died, he left Wickham an inheritance so that he could train to be a Jedi. Times changed not long afterward, and Jedi-hood was no longer an option. Wickham decided to design weapons for the Empire instead, "But when it was time for me to get training, Darcy wouldn't give me the money!"

"Why not?" she asked.

"He said he didn't want money to leave the family, but really it was jealousy. He felt like I was the favorite."

"That's no reason to deprive you of your inheritance!"

"Yes, it's so unfair. Now I'm an expendable fighter-pilot, ready to get blown up at a moment's notice."

"How horrible!"

It was so satisfying for Elizabeth, having a new reason to dislike the person who called her "tolerable." Until it turned out that Darcy actually wanted to talk to her! What was this?! Why would he giving her, the "tolerable" girl, attention? Maybe he was trying to embarrass her. Or maybe he needed to win a bet, "I'll give you twenty credits if you get the 'tolerable' girl to ask you out," sort of thing. Well, she wasn't going to deal with this.

"What books do you like?" Darcy asked.

"I like books about the demise of evil villains who deprive their friends of their rightful property."

"Really? That's unusual."

Their conversation was interrupted by a gossip who wanted "the scoop" on when Jane and Bingley were going to be married.

"I know nothing of the matter," Darcy lied, looking at the lovebirds, then at Mrs. Bennet gossiping and acting ridiculous, then at Mr. Bennet and the silent M4R3, then at Lydia and the fighter-pilots, and then at Bingley and Jane once more. He did not conceal his disapproval.

The next day, Bingley moved out of the neighborhood, claiming it was time to complete the diplomatic mission from Netherfield. He never said goodbye to any of the Bennetts. Jane made up excuses for him. Elizabeth knew Darcy was to blame.


	6. Chapter 5

"It's all my fault! Me and my dreadful, dreadful brothers kept Jane from marrying King Bingley of the Planet Netherfield!" Mrs. Bennet cried bitterly.

"Captain Dennis is soooo cuuute," Lydia giggled.

"I wonder if it is possible to die of shame over the actions of one's family," Elizabeth said.

Jane believed the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." She was silent.

"I have every right to shut M4R3 off if I please. I bought it with money I earned on the Death Star. You have no idea what I have to go through every day to get food on the table. Just yesterday, a man of my rank was choked to death in mid-air!" Mr. Bennet said.

Mrs. Bennet said, "Dear, you really need to see someone about your visions of Lord Vader using magical powers."

"It happened!"

M4R3 beeped and buzzed. None of the Bennets understood droid beeps, but what M4R3 said is translated here:

"I can't help it that I play Gungan music at parties! If you people knew anything about machinery, you could figure out a way to fix it! It's not that hard! I've heard stories about little uneducated children on Tatooine with no future to speak of building protocol droids from scratch! FROM SCRATCH! You don't even bother to send me to a mechanic! And you act like K1T3 is completely stupid when she's ON MUTE! PRESS THE 'MUTE' BUTTON!"

Mr. Bennet was fed up with people not believing his stories about Darth Vader's force-choking incidents. He felt unappreciated. After all, he had to deal with a lot at work. Finally, he decided that if his word wasn't good enough, he would bring in a witness.

Mr. Collins had been next in line for Mr. Bennet's job before the latest force-choking incident. He had been selected to replace the dead man because of his weak, subservient personality, two important qualities in an imperial employee.

At dinner that night, Mr. Bennet asked him the all-important question:

"Is it true that Lord Vader can choke people in the air with the Force?"

"Yes, of course, you describe the event that caused my promotion."

"There! I'm not seeing things!"

Mrs. Bennet verbally acknowledged that they were right, really thinking that the poor dears were being worked entirely too hard. But it didn't matter very much to her as long as this officer became interested in one of the girls. So she invited him over for dinner the next night.


	7. Chapter 6

After two weeks of daily visits from Mr. Collins, Mr. Bennet was on his last nerve. The man was so annoying and strange, but Mrs. Bennet would not rest until he proposed to somebody.

Finally, Mr. Collins decided to "pop the question" to Elizabeth:

"Mrs. Bennet, it has come to my attention that your mother has some expectations regarding our future. I share her hopes."

"Mr. Collins, I don't think-"

"I'm not done yet. You are a competent young woman, fully equipped to serve the Empire. If you accept my proposal, your family will retain connections to high-ranking imperial officers after your father's death. In short, it would be an honor if you would accept your humble servant and preserve ties between myself and your family, so now I propose-"

"You needn't-"

"I propose a wedding between ourselves, and, if my superior approves, a position for you on the Death Star."

"No."

"What?"

"I decline your proposal."

"Oh Miss Bennet, how your sarcasm brings me merriment!"

"I am serious, Mr. Collins. I don't want to marry you."

"It is time to put an end to facetious remarks and take care of business. I think the wedding should take place at-"

"The wedding will not take place. You ask me to serve the empire. Recently, the empire has taken to killing people for no reason. I won't participate in that. Also, we really wouldn't get along well at all."

"You are truly declining my proposal?"

"Truly."

"You are making a very poor choice, Miss Bennet. Might I remind you that the Empire regards those who openly express disloyalty as rebels."

"I DON'T CARE! THE ANSWER IS NO!"

Suddenly, Elizabeth realized that she basically just told a high-ranking imperial officer that she was associated with the rebels.

Mrs. Bennet charged through the door, shouting "OUT! OUT! OUT!" Without a word, Mr. Collins marched out of the house. Elizabeth sat down, covering her mouth with her hands. How could she say a thing like that?! What was she thinking!?

Lydia (followed by K1T3) ran around in circles, inventing worst-case scenarios, "Elizabeth said we're rebels, so they're probably going to use the Death Star on Longbourn next!"

But what Elizabeth had done affected Mr. Bennet the most. He knew how the Empire dealt with traitors. And that scared him. So he recorded some holograms on M4R3. When he finished, he explained that it was dangerous for the girls, especially Elizabeth, to stay on Longbourn for much longer. Most likely, Collins was accusing them of treason as they spoke.


	8. Chapter 7

Jane would stay with Uncle and Aunt Bennet on Coruscant. Lydia would visit friends on Naboo.

"What about Elizabeth?" Jane asked.

"I have made arrangements for her, but it's better if you don't know her whereabouts.". He drove Jane and Lydia (who travelled with K1T3) to an interplanetary transport station two hours away. When he returned, he found Mrs. Bennett arguing with her older brother, Reginald Gardiner.

"ARE YOU _TRYING_ TO HAVE MY FAMILY EXECUTED?"

"No, Fanny, your husband's hologram said to come because there's an emergency."

"YOUR DREADFUL, DREADFUL TRAITOROUS REBEL SPIES ARE PROBABLY WATCHING ME AT THIS VERY INSTANT!"

"Your husband doesn't have access to any classified information. Why would we want to spy on you?"

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND SEES DARTH VADER ON A DAILY BASIS!"

Mr. Bennet said, "Thank you for coming, Gardiner. I'll tell Elizabeth to make sure her things are packed."

As Elizabeth finished packing, Mr. Gardiner tried to reassure Mr. Bennet, "She'll be safe at the rebel base on-"

"Don't tell me! The last thing I need is more dangerous information. The fact that that ship is parked behind my house is bad enough."

"'That ship' is the only way I could have possibly gotten here fast enough. It's capable of flying-"

"Unbelievably fast, I know. Princess Leia escaped on that same ship a few days ago, which is why you and Elizabeth need to leave before anyone sees it here."

On board the Millennium Falcon, Elizabeth battled space-travel-induced nausea. She sat in a passenger seat next to her Aunt Gardiner, who explained, "Now, once we leave the atmosphere, your uncle is going to hit the hyperdrive, so get ready for a big lurch, alright?"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Elizabeth said. The ship lurched forward, and she vomited.

When Elizabeth had adjusted to the point where she could hold a conversation, she asked her aunt, "Where are we going?"

"To our house on Planet Rosings."

"We can't go there! Mr. Collins lives on Rosings!"

"Don't worry about him. He has absolutely no clue about rebel activities. He's too caught up in trying to please Queen Catherine and Lord Vader."

"He's going to tell both of them that I'm a rebel!"

Uncle Gardiner said, "You've got to convince Queen Catherine that you're not."

"How?"

"It's easy," Aunt Gardiner said, "She's so gullible. When they talk about Alderaan, just look off into the distance and say things like, 'It was for the greater good.' When she asks why you turned down Collins's proposal, go on about about how he's 'too important' for you. Be a kiss-up."

The ship swerved, which didn't help the space-sickness situation. Then it swerved again.

"What is going on?" Elizabeth asked.

"The rebels destroyed the Death Star earlier today," Uncle Gardiner said, "and there's still a lot of debris floating around from the explosion."


	9. Chapter 8

At the Gardiner's house, Elizabeth spent the day recuperating from extreme space-sickness. She watched a hologram from Mr. Bennet:

"I just found out that my in-laws' rebel allies blew up my office yesterday and that the remains of my office caused the worst space-travel conditions in Galactic history right at the moment that I decided to send all of my children to different planets. What are the odds? I probably shouldn't say anything else about that. After all, the Empire could be watching this. They could be watching this!" It ended.

Elizabeth asked Uncle Gardiner if there was a way to make sure that the empire never saw her family's messages. He'd already taken care of it.

A hologram from Mrs. Bennet to Elizabeth:

"I know your Uncle Gardiner's got a 'cover' and all that. But it's such trouble! Why does he have to _pretend_ to be Queen Catherine's accountant when he could just _be_ her accountant? I wish he had joined the imperial army like everybody else! I've _had it_ with these rebels!"

A hologram from Jane to her parents and sisters:

"Coruscant is a lovely place. Did you know that Bingley is here? I sent him a hologram a few days ago, but I realize now that it was inconsiderate of me to try to see him when he is obviously so busy doing political things. He'll return my hologram when he gets the chance. There are so many people to meet here from all across the Galaxy. There's so much to see and do, it's overwhelming. Of course, spending time with Uncle and Aunt Bennet is the best part. I love you all very much."

A hologram from Lydia to her parents and sisters:

"Naboo is AMAZING. Bye."

Queen Catherine de Bourgh was a total control freak. Her life's work was basically telling everyone to do everything her way. When she wasn't running other people' lives, she hosted formal dinner parties. It was a hobby. The Gardiners usually got invited to dinner at the Rosings Government Mansion on a weekly basis.

When they received an invitation, Aunt Gardiner said, "She's such a horrible gossip. I bet she has been sitting in Second Death Star construction meetings all week thinking, 'Elizabeth Bennet... Elizabeth Bennet... Who is she...? I must know so that I can question her about all the details of her life...'"

Elizabeth laughed.

"You think it's funny now! Just wait!"


	10. Chapter 9

A protocol droid answered the door to the Rosings Government Mansion, "Welcome, guests of Queen Catherine de Bourgh. May I show you the way to the visiting area?"

The droid escorted Elizabeth and the Gardiners into an elevator that went up to the highest floor of the mansion. The elevator doors opened to a sitting area. The room had a transparent wall so that Elizabeth could see the countryside. It suddenly occurred to her that Rosings was an extremely rural place.

She was so mesmerized by the gorgeous view from the glass wall that an embarrassing amount of time elapsed before she finally noticed that other people were also in the room. Queen Catherine and her daughter, Princess Anne, were sitting on a couch. Thankfully, the Gardiners were making enough small talk to distract Queen Catherine from Elizabeth's apparent rudeness until she said, "Miss Bennet, I have been quite anxious to meet you. Sit down. It is my understanding that your family lives on the Planet Longbourn and that your father worked closely with Mr. Collins while the Death Star was still in operation."

"Yes."

"And you have four sisters?"

"Two."

"Humph. That is a very small number of sisters."

"I suppose-"

"Tell me about your education. Have you undergone any sort of training?"

"My sisters and I had a tutor for all of the General Studies courses, but none of us have had any formal training."

"How will any of you manage without formal training!?"

"Jane and I study independently, and I believe we could both pass the exams if we ever feel compelled to get a job in the imperial forces."

"And why do you not feel compelled to do so at this moment?"

"Why...I... _do_ feel compelled. But I...am...intimidated by the greatness...and...power...of the imperial forces." Elizabeth internally winced. She knew she couldn't tell a convincing lie.

The elevator doors opened, and Mr. Collins entered with Charlotte Lucas.

Queen Catherine said, "Mr. and Mrs. Collins have arrived. We will now eat."

Elizabeth's mouth fell open.

It was difficult for her to maintain composure throughout dinner. She refused to marry Mr. Collins not long ago, and now he was married to her closest friend! Had Charlotte fallen in love with Mr. Collins?!

Nevertheless, Elizabeth managed to fulfill her original goal for the evening. She complimented, praised, and admired until both Collins and Queen Catherine were commending Elizabeth's patriotism.

Queen Catherine said, "Collins, I absolutely cannot believe this is the person that you were about to accuse of treason. What were you thinking?"

"I was only thinking of my duty to you, Your Highness, and I assure you will not make another error of this nature."

After dinner, Elizabeth finally got a chance to speak privately with Charlotte.

"Charlotte! I am so surprised!"

"I know what you're thinking, Elizabeth. I wanted to tell you the moment I accepted his proposal, but your father wouldn't give me your location."

"When? Why? How?"

"Before I tell you any of the details, you must remember that my family doesn't have any imperial connections." The Lucases owned a very successful blaster-manufacturing company that had given them the opportunity to work their way into the social circles of Vader's officers. They were anxious about the unstable situation of the galaxy as a whole and couldn't help but notice the security that officer's families enjoyed. Naturally, they would rejoice if Charlotte were given the opportunity to marry an officer.

Charlotte explained how her parents invited Collins over for dinner the day after he proposed to Elizabeth. Charlotte had no strong feelings one way or the other about him, but he was clearly interested in her as a potential wife. After he had been over for dinner several nights in a row, it was clear that her parents were also very much in favor of a marriage. She weighed the pros and cons, and when he proposed, she said yes, "It was a great opportunity for my family. I'm not a romantic, Elizabeth."

For all logical and practical purposes, Charlotte had given her a satisfactory explanation. But she couldn't help but feel that Charlotte had made the greatest mistake of her life. The thought of Charlotte living with such an irritating man day after day remained on her mind even after she and the Gardiners returned to the house.

"She was my best friend, Aunt Gardiner. We played Lightbeam Dart Tag in each other's front yards. We ate Bagelian Popwood and talked about cute boys. And now she's married to that...that..."

"That affected, flattering goose? Queen Catherine's pet parrot? I don't like him either. But Charlotte is different. She can deal with Collins's issues."

"Of course she can deal with Collins. Charlotte could function in any sort of situation. She's extremely capable. But is she happy with him?"


	11. Chapter 10

Even though Queen Catherine and Collins no longer thought that Elizabeth was trying to overthrow the government, Mr. Bennet was still too paranoid to let any of the sisters return to Longbourn.

A hologram from Jane to her parents and sisters:

"Every day I see something new and wonderful in Coruscant. I haven't seen Bingley yet... But that's ok because there are so many wonderful things about living here. I hope you are all doing well. I love you very much."

No word from Lydia.

As was expected, Queen Catherine invited the Gardiners and Elizabeth to another dinner party shortly afterward.

Elizabeth stared at the glass wall, mesmerized.

"A very pretty view to be certain, Miss Bennet," said Mr. Darcy, who stood beside her.

Elizabeth started.

"I apologize, Miss Bennet. I had absolutely no intention of frightening you."

"I didn't know that you would be dining with us, Mr. Darcy!"

"I am obligated to pay my aunt an occasional visit."

Queen Catherine being related to Darcy made perfect sense to Elizabeth. They probably shared some gene that made people irritating.

But it soon became clear that Darcy did not enjoy the company of his aunt or his cousin. Queen Catherine talked incessantly about "The Betrothal" that she believed to bind Princess Anne and Darcy in future matrimony. Apparently this Betrothal was established in Princess Anne's infancy, and the time approached when Darcy was supposed to pop the question officially.

Darcy hesitated to affirm or deny the matrimonial arrangements. It was obvious to everyone except Queen Catherine that he found the idea of marrying his cousin unappealing. Anne's condition prevented her from objecting to any plans made for her. Her respiratory system as a whole did not function. When she was very young, she obtained a breathing mechanism more cumbersome than Darth Vader's. Her external appearance was perfectly normal, but the sound of her breathing was unbearable. Unfortunately for Darcy, Queen Catherine made him sit next to her the entire evening.

Darcy spent much of the evening trying to talk to Elizabeth and failing.

Elizabeth avoided Darcy without appearing impolite.

A stalemate ensued. That is, until Mr. Gardiner happened to mention that Elizabeth was a very talented musician. It hadn't occurred to him that Queen Catherine considered herself to be an exceptional critic of music.

"Miss Bennet, I am surprised at you for hiding your talent from me for so long! You must play for us!"

Elizabeth hadn't practiced since she arrived at Rosings three weeks ago. But Queen Catherine would equate a refusal with an insult. She thought she might be able to remember the chorus to "The Droids You're Looking For" by the Allusions. She went over the lyrics in her head:

 _Searching in the desert_

 _Blaster in hand_

 _There is a lot of sand_

 _I'm just a Stormtrooper_

 _But I long for more_

 _These aren't the droids you're looking for_

 _Move along, move along._

Elizabeth sat at the Flugleboard. She performed well, considering she hadn't practiced in such a long time.

When she looked up from her instrument, she saw that Darcy had moved so close to the Flugleboard that she would be forced to socialize with him!

"I am surprised at you, Mr. Darcy, for suddenly becoming so interested in being one of this party after your behavior at the Lucas's Founding Day party on Longbourn."

"This is a small dinner party with my friends and relatives. I don't like intruding upon the conversations of strangers."

"Because it is _impossible_ to make a new acquaintance at a Founding Day party."


	12. Chapter 11

Elizabeth never truly appreciated what a small place Rosings was until Darcy arrived there. She couldn't avoid him. They were always bumping into each other in the street. It was a constant annoyance, having to see her least favorite person every day and talk with him about whatever subject he brought up. Usually, it was politics.

"Miss Bennet, what do you suppose the likelihood is of Princess Leia turning out to be a double agent for the Empire?"

"She was going to be executed, Mr. Darcy. She had to be rescued by rebels to survive."

"But suppose that was all for show? Suppose Vader purposefully waited to execute her until a rebel rescue mission appeared?"

"Mr. Darcy, you believed that Princess Leia was a rebel leader even before she was captured on Vader's ship. Why do you contradict yourself?"

"I never said that I believed she was a double agent. I am merely curious about your opinion."

"Oh...I suppose it's unlikely."

A hologram from Jane to her family:

"After I finish packing, Uncle and Aunt Bennet are going to take me to the interplanetary transport station. See you on Longbourn. Bye." She looked sad.

Elizabeth was furious. She knew Darcy kept Jane and Bingley apart.

A knock on the door.

It was Darcy.

Elizabeth stood in the doorway, facing Darcy. Why should she let him in? He ruined Wickham's career. His influence over Bingley resulted in Jane's broken heart . He didn't know how to function in a social situation. He was annoying. He called her tolerable. She had no reason to like him.

But she was also curious. Something was off in his expression, in his posture, in his gestures. The Darcy Elizabeth knew was a confidant - almost arrogant - man. This same man now appeared nervous. Mr. Darcy? Nervous? What did it mean?

"Come in, Mr. Darcy."

They walked into the seating area. They sat. Uncomfortable silence.

Darcy struggled to find words. He clearly had a very bad feeling about this.

"I...I suppose...I suppose I should premise with facts. No, not facts. Observations. Inferences. In the presence of my aunt, you declare extreme patriotism. However, you display obvious characteristics of insincerity as you do so. I do not believe your patriotism is genuine. The chief reason for my suspicion is that I am aware of your aunt and uncle's true loyalties."

Elizabeth started. He was here to have her arrested. Or blackmailed.

"I apologize for frightening you, Miss Bennet. Before I continue this conversation, you must confirm the accuracy of my conclusions."

"I want to know your reasons for doubting my aunt and uncle's loyalties."

"No one will be accused of treason while I am here."

"Why should I trust you, Mr. Darcy?"

He paused, evidently considering a new course of action.

"You should trust me because..." he hesitated. He stood up, took a deep breath, and said, "Because I am a general in the rebel forces. I work with the Gardiners. Your father is an officer in Vader's army. I have no reason to trust you. But _you_ can trust _me_ because I have just given you the information necessary to have me executed if you wish. Are my conclusions about you and your family correct?"

"Yes. Yes, you are correct."

A pause.

Elizabeth said, "Is that all, Mr. Darcy?"

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to express how ardently I admire and love you."

 _What_ did he just say?


	13. Chapter 12

Darcy proposed. It was bad. Clearly organized, well-spoken, but bad. So bad. Also long. So long that it would be a total waste of time and energy to write out the whole thing word-for-word. The basic outline of Darcy's proposal is written below.

I. I love you.

II. I shouldn't love you.

A. Political complications would have disastrous effects.

1\. Your father works for Vader.

2\. Your uncle is a rebel.

3\. I am secretly a rebel general.

B. I come from a wealthy, influential family. You don't.

C. I am a public figure on my planet. Your family could hurt my reputation.

1\. Your father is one of the lowest-ranking imperial officers.

2\. Your mother is embarrassing.

3\. Your droids are annoying and need repairs.

4\. Lydia.

III. Conclusion - Will you marry me?

"Mr. Darcy, I certainly decline your proposal!"

"I am proposing marriage to you, Miss Bennet. You could at least try to be polite."

"Polite? You destroyed Mr. Wickham's chances for a career. My sister was in love with Mr. Bingley, and you destroyed their chances of ever being together. Jane was happy with him, and you broke her heart!"

In frustrated tones, "I deny none of these accusations. However, I also understand that your reaction has been affected by the manner in which I frightened you initially. I did so out of necessity."

"That changes nothing! You are the last man in the world I should ever be prevailed upon to marry!"

"I-"

"MR. DARCY, I WILL MARRY YOU WHEN THE JEDI RETURN!"

Elizabeth didn't tell the Gardiners about the proposal. She wanted to pretend it had never happened. The weirdness of the whole situation was overwhelming.

So of course Darcy personally delivered a letter to the Gardiners' house the next day. Yes, a paper letter. Not a hologram. Who does that?

The letter was much better than the proposal, but it was also very long. A synopsis is written below.

 _I made an error that resulted in the unfortunate situation of your sister. I mistook her shyness for indifference toward him. Observing evidence of his strong feelings for her, I thought it my duty to remove him from her company. I now understand that this was the wrong thing to do, and I apologize._

 _Mr. Wickham has no sense of responsibility or work ethic. My original plan was to give him the money that my father left to him for training in his chosen field even though I knew he would waste it. Once I discovered that he was unworthy of such an opportunity, I made arrangements for the money to go toward the improvement of my family's estate. Regarding Wickham's actions, it is necessary only to mention that he deceived my sister Georgiana and used her for his own gain._

Elizabeth read it. She did not want to read it, and she did not enjoy it. She would have much preferred to stew in anger and bitterness than to consider Darcy's perspective. But Elizabeth's conscience prevailed over her temper.

She thought about what Darcy had to say. At first, she tried to find a way to prove she was right. But the more she thought about it, the more Darcy's letter made sense. Someone who didn't know Jane couldn't possibly see that she loved Bingley. Of course Wickham's charm and sociable manner made him seem like a person you could trust even though you knew next to nothing about him. She had passed judgement so quickly in each case!

"Till this moment I never knew myself."


	14. Chapter 13

At this point, even Mr. Bennet had run out of irrational resulting-solely-from-paranoia reasons to keep Elizabeth from returning to Longbourn. As they got ready to go, Elizabeth mentally prepared herself for another horrible space-sickness experience. But then she saw the ship they were taking. A lump of metal with a door and a pitifully tiny engine.

"What happened to the other ship?" she asked Mr. Gardiner.

"What other ship?"

"The one we took here."

"The Millennium Falcon? We got to use that because you were in an emergency situation. And even if I could get the owner to let me borrow it again, it's not on this planet anymore. We are going to Longbourn on the Blossom Sweet. Slow and steady wins the race."

The trip would take about 12 hours.

12 hours of total discomfort. The Blossom Sweet had been built to accommodate one driver and one passenger, but it had no GPS, no automatic pilot, and no pre-programmed flight program. Uncle Gardiner was the only licensed pilot, and Aunt Gardiner was the only person they had with a decent sense of direction. So Elizabeth sat in the same position for the whole morning. Then they ate lunch on Bagelia. Then more cramped space-travel. Right when Elizabeth felt she would not be able to stand it any longer, they passed Netherfield. Two more hours until Longbourn.

A hologram came in for the Gardiners.

The message was from Princess Leia, dressed in white winter clothes. Why did she wear white all the time? Maybe it was an Alderaan thing.

"We are under attack. All forces report to the base at Pemberley." In the background, lights flickered and an alarm blared.

Uncle Gardiner turned the ship around.

"Sorry, Elizabeth. 'All forces' includes us," Aunt Gardiner said.

"I knew the Empire would strike back," Uncle Gardiner said.

10 MORE HOURS. Elizabeth would be stuck aboard the Blossom Sweet for 10 MORE HOURS! Waves of frustration flooded her ENTIRE SOUL! The Blossom Sweet. What a horrendously inappropriate name for an ugly, overcrowded ship! And that noise it made! "Pitt-pitter-putt-plit" over and over again, "pitt-pitter-putt-plit." It was a spacecraft that travelled SLOWER THAN LIGHT SPEED! _WHY_ would _ANYONE_ buy a ship that travelled SLOWER THAN LIGHT SPEED?!

She took the portable hologram machine to the teeny-tiny-freezing-cold cargo hold, which contained just enough unoccupied space for her to sit on the ground. She called Jane. A hologram popped up.

"Jane! Do you know what's going on right now?"

"You're on the way home, right?"

"No! I'm on the way to Pemberley on an extremely fuel-inefficient ship called the _Blossom Sweet_!"

Jane laughed, bending over and covering her mouth.

"Listen, Jane! It's horrible! There isn't any room, and it takes at least a day to get anywhere, and we were just passing Netherfield when we got this hologram-"

Jane's face fell. Elizabeth shouldn't have mentioned Netherfield.

Her brain raced to think of something distracting to say, "Jane! Darcy proposed to me!"

"What?!"

"He proposed to me!"

"What did you tell him?"

"I said," she raised her chin and pretended to stare off into the distance, "Mr. Darcy, I will marry you _when the Jedi return_!" Jane laughed. Elizabeth told her the whole story of the proposal, leaving out the parts relating to Bingley.

"So now I have this paper letter which directly contradicts everything Wickham told me about Darcy. At first I would have told you that Darcy lied, but his story makes more sense, and he admits that he was wrong about some things. Wickham made himself out to be perfect."

"I agree."


	15. Chapter 14

It's humbling to discover that you are wrong and your least favorite person is right. Not just "right" as in "correct" but also as in "moral or ethical; chivalrous; noble." He certainly had a pride issue. But, overall, he had it together. Elizabeth didn't.

The next morning, The Blossom Sweet arrived at Pemberley. It was a gorgeous place with stately, symmetrical mansions and beautiful, flat countryside with perfectly mowed grass. Elizabeth's hopes of seeing the famous landmarks were dashed when Uncle Gardiner informed her that the rebel base was hidden underground on the planet's north pole.

"Did you really think we were going on a tour of Pemberley?"

When the ship was about to land in the dock, Elizabeth prepared herself for a scene of total disaster. The rebel base on Pemberley was intended to be a temporary residence for a small number of people. It couldn't house the hordes of people it now had to accommodate, not even considering the extra space required for nursing the wounded. The Gardiners didn't tell Elizabeth that they half-expected to find stormtroopers right there in the dock, executing rebels. Why else would someone force Princess Leia to order all forces to appear in one place?

All three took a deep breath and stepped outside. The rebel base at Pemberley wasn't a disaster. Quite the opposite, actually. It was orderly and efficient. Whatever system the rebels were using worked really well. Markings on the floor labeled the way in which the limited space would be used. No square inch was wasted. More surprising than anything else, no healthy body remained idle. People made food, cared for the wounded, gave instructions, worked on supplies, monitored security cameras, repaired damaged ships.

Elizabeth and the Gardiners stood mesmerized for what must have been longer than they realized. It was evident that a woman was having difficulty getting their attention.

"Ahem. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me!" They snapped out of it, "I need you to identify yourselves." She presented a metal cube-shaped device, "Name please."

"Colonel Gardiner."

A computer in the box said, "Colonel Gardiner recognized."

"Mrs. Gardiner"

"Mrs. Gardiner recognized."

"This is Elizabeth Bennet. She was with us when we received the order," Uncle Gardiner said.

The woman eyed Elizabeth with suspicion, "Colonel, it is bad enough to be several hours late to appear, but to bring a stranger-"

"I would prefer to discuss the matter with General Darcy," Uncle Gardiner said.

"I'm afraid that isn't possible, Colonel."

"Captain Romona, have you ever gone anywhere in The Blossom Sweet?" Aunt Gardiner said, "Because no sane person would ever fly that thing unless no other option existed. And I can assure you that there was no other option. We went from Rosings to Netherfield and then turned around and came here. I'm not doing it again. Please go find Darcy."

"He is not expected to return to the base for at least 4 hours." Obvious tension rose in their voices.

"Surely he took a hologram machine with him."

"He did, but only to be used in the most critical emergency. It is vital that his location not be revealed to anyone."

"And I suppose _you're_ the only person on the base who knows where he is."

"I'm not going to argue about it, Mrs. Gardiner. The fact is you and your husband have violated security measures by bringing this person-"

"My niece Elizabeth!"

"-Elizabeth, to an extremely secret, extremely important rebel base."

Uncle Gardiner interrupted, "Let's not lose our tempers," his tone indicated that this sort of thing was a regular occurrence, "Captain Romona, I order you to take us through the usual protocol."

So the Captain gave them the tour she gave every newly arriving group, "General Darcy is head of the intelligence branch of our army. He built this base five years ago with the primary intention of using it as an information center." They walked through a door that led to a dining room, "The base also functions as a safe-house. The attack on Hoth yesterday has rendered it critical to our military survival, which is why it must only be referred to by its code name, 'The Country House.'" A laundry room, "The Country House was built to comfortably accommodate 100 people at most. There are about 300 living here as we speak." A long hallway, "We expect at least 800 arrivals within the next 24 hour period. The General took it upon himself to devise the system currently in action to maintain survival and hygiene here. He is now in the process of finding a way to transport the excess population of this facility to another without putting either's location at risk of discovery." Captain Romona proceeded to show them the location of the bathrooms, the kitchen, and a seating area. The marvel of the place was the library, which contained an electronic record of every piece of information the rebels had collected over the years. The records were organized in chronological order, so Elizabeth could spot the most recent addition, the design of the original Death Star.

There were 75 lovely bedrooms at The Country House. Because of Colonel Gardiner's rank, he and his wife were assigned to one of them. Elizabeth, technically a civilian, (and, in Romona's opinion, practically an enemy spy) didn't even get a blanket. After the tour, she and the Gardiners were in the laundry room trying to solve the problem of how to fit Elizabeth's luggage on the tiny rectangular section of floor she had been assigned. Then Darcy showed up. Apparently, he had been away long enough to have a basket full of dirty laundry.

There was a moment of horribly awkward silence when Darcy and Elizabeth made eye contact. Colonel Gardiner spoke first.

"General, we were told you wouldn't be back until late tonight. I hope this is good news."

"Um. News. Yes. I found the ideal place to relocate everybody. I just need to check up on the current location of the imperial fleet. To help determine our route. Hello, Mrs. Gardiner."

"I am so impressed by your efforts, General," Mrs. Gardiner said, "You do realize you have saved our army?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Gardiner. And um. Miss Bennet. Hello."

"Hello Mr.-I mean-General Darcy," Elizabeth said.

Darcy looked away from Elizabeth, (this required an immense amount of effort, as she had _fine_ eyes) and he saw her luggage.

"I suppose this is the space Captain Romona assigned you?"

"Um. Yes. It is."

"Excuse me," Darcy left. Not long afterward, Captain Romona arrived with a new room assignment. Elizabeth got her own bedroom, complete with a little cube that locked the door using voice-recognition technology.


	16. Chapter 15

Darcy spent the next few days moving people to the other base. He came. He left. He came. He left. "When does he sleep?" Elizabeth thought.

That's when it clicked. Because before, she thought Darcy didn't care about anything. And he _didn't_ care about parties or small talk or imaginary betrothals or what people thought about him. When Darcy actually cared about something, he worked tirelessly for it. He never told anyone how much he cared, but he definitely cared.

The Millennium Falcon descended into the atmosphere of Pemberley on a cold night. When the dock opened, a rush of icy air flooded the facility.

The ship parked. A small crowd appeared around it. Darcy was away, transporting people. But the Gardiners were there. So was Captain Romona. A pair of droids and a moaning wookie exited the ship. They went on their way.

Princess Leia got off last, then stopped. There was a moment of silence. Ordinarily, Leia stood before that group as a pillar stands, strong, triumphant, unwavering. Tonight, the Princess, Victory incarnate, stood defeated, dejected. She looked into her people's eyes and shifted her gaze. She didn't look for words. What good would words do?

was probably spite that compelled Captain Romona to put Elizabeth in charge of Leia's laundry. Elizabeth stared at the basket, full of white fabric, "You don't have cleaning-droids?"

"Our central base just got blown up. The Second Death Star is probably going to blow up this base. Morale is at an all-time low. Do you honestly think anyone here is worried about cleaning-droids?"

Longbourn was not a place where you were rich if your family had a cleaning droid. They were efficient and relatively cheap. If you didn't have one, you were homeless or you belonged to a religious group that believed clothes could only be purified by the repetition of poetry within twenty feet of an ocean. Regardless, it couldn't possibly be that hard. It was a machine, just like any other machine. You put the clothes in, press "on," and take them out.

Elizabeth grabbed the basket and opened the machine, ready to start the next load. She jumped backward. Her jaw dropped. All of Princess Leia's clothes had turned orange.

Aunt Gardiner walked in. Elizabeth closed the machine.

"I heard you're in charge of the Princess's clothes. Is everything going well?"

Elizabeth nodded, "Yeah. It's going...yeah."

"Good. She needs things to go well right now. Even little chores like this will help."

"What?" She had a bad feeling about this, "What do you mean?"

"She's just had a hard time lately. They blew up her planet not too long ago, which was hard. And she was doing very well. I even think-I know nothing for sure-but I think she and Han Solo-he's the man we borrowed the Falcon from-might have been romantically involved. Then Hoth was destroyed. And now this disaster."

"What disaster?"

"That's just it. I don't know exactly what happened. My understanding of it is that Han got captured, and Luke- but you don't know him- It was just a disaster. Total disaster. The point is you're doing a good thing, helping Leia with this." Then Mrs. Gardiner left.

In Princess Leia's time of need, Elizabeth had turned her clothes orange. She went into panic mode, gathering the clothes into the basket as fast as she possibly could.

Princess Leia answered the door.

"I turned your clothes orange. I'm a horrible judge of character. I can't even judge the character of a washing machine. I should have asked Captain Romona for more instructions. I just learned about your boyfriend getting captured. I'm so sorry."

Leia looked at the basket and at Elizabeth, then laughed hysterically, "What did you do?!"

"I don't know. We use cleaning-droids on Longbourn."

"Longbourn? Are you Elizabeth Bennet?"

"Yes, I am. Why?"

"Colonel Gardiner told me about you. There's no reason to worry about the clothes. I wear too much white anyway." That's how the conversation started.

This is how the conversation ended:

"Of course I want to rescue Han, but it just isn't possible right now. I'm needed here. Luke and I are going to rescue him soon, and when we do, we'll plan everything beforehand. The only thing I can think of that could get in the way is if Luke decides to be stupid and tries another rescue mission by himself. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson. General Darcy definitely learned his."

"What?"

"I guess you don't know about how Georgiana Darcy died."


	17. Chapter 16

On the night that Darcy successfully completed his mission, Leia hosted a dinner party in his honor. The higher-ranking officers and their families were invited.

When Elizabeth saw Darcy, heterogeneous flutterings disturbed her stomach. After he had acknowledged the other guests, Darcy went out of his way to speak with her.

"I understand that you have been thrown into a bit of an unusual situation, being stuck on this base..."

"No, no, not at all. Everything's been lovely. Except..."

"Except what?"

"Captain Romona made me do Princess Leia's laundry and-"

"-it all turned orange. She told me."

"I don't know the first thing about clothes."

"Neither do I."

"Then why didn't you buy cleaning-droids for this place?"

"I was so worried about getting the library just right, I never even thought about it."

Elizabeth laughed. She mimicked his voice, "I am General Darcy, and now I'm going to ignore proper hygiene for my military base and find some good reading material!"

"Is there some sort of hygiene issue?"

Elizabeth laughed. He was so cute

They began eating lunch together. The description of these lunches had to be edited out for safety reasons, as some readers would fall over dead from exposure to too much cuteness.

That is, except for this lunch:

Darcy, "Do you enjoy Bagelian fizz drink?"

Elizabeth, "Does it matter?"

"Not really."

"Well, it's a secret."

"Oh. I'm sorry if I was rude."

"It's not a real secret!"

"Then why would you say it was a secret?"

Rolling her eyes, "I'm the only one in my family who doesn't like Bagelian fizz drink."

"I was just wondering because-"

Captain Romona laid a paper envelope on their table and left.

"You rebels and your _paper_. What are we, cavemen?"

"We use paper letters to communicate information too delicate to be transmitted otherwise. You can't intercept a paper letter with technological equipment."

A letter from Jane to Elizabeth:

 _Dear Elizabeth,_

 _One of Lydia's friends sent us a hologram saying that Lydia and Wickham recently formed a romantic attachment, and now they both have gone missing. I am sure that by the time you have received this letter, the house will be be in a state of chaos. You must come home._

 _Yours always,_

 _Jane Bennet_


	18. Chapter 17

A flashback:

Georgianna Darcy never knew about her brother's involvement with the rebels.

She was a born researcher and historian. Particularly interested in the causes of the Clone Wars and her father's role in it, she examined his journals and holograms. After that, Mr. Darcy took her to Coruscant to try to dig up some records of Jedi Council and Senate meetings. It took some persistence, but eventually they collected a decent set of documents.

"It's odd," she once said, "how the same people keep popping up in these things. Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, those three names over and over again."

Then:

"This is weird. There is a definite record of every single Jedi's death except for Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker. And all three are the most historically significant people in that group."

So she dug deeper:

"According to this message, Skywalker had the highest metachlorian count ever recorded. I wonder what that means."

And deeper:

"Look! Dad talked about this in his journals! Skywalker and Amidala were always sitting together at important events, and this source talks about all of their inside jokes. I wonder..."

When they returned to Pemberley, she told Wickham all about it. He listened attentively, and he congratulated her. She enjoyed the attention. They spent more and more time together, taking walks, eating, going to plays. As they were leaving one of these plays, Wickham spotted Vader's ship parked in town. He suggested that they look inside. She objected.

"What harm can it possibly do to just take a peek? We go in. We go out," he said, flashing his pearly white teeth. They went in, and the door shut and locked behind them. Heavy, mechanical breathing filled the room. Darth Vader approached.

"Ah! Wickham! I see you have brought Miss Darcy with you today. I admire your persistence in seeking my favor, but I hope you are absolutely certain that this girl knows rebel secrets."

"I'm quite certain, Lord Vader. She talks nonstop about the rebellious figures of the Clone Wars."

Georgiana had no words.

When the truth serum was administered, she gained no words. She knew nothing.

Until she saw the lightsaber. Vader had been a Jedi. Too big to be Yoda. Either Kenobi or Skywalker. Which one?

Vader turned his attention away from the interrogation. One of his officers had made an error of some kind. Without warning, he reached out his hand and killed the man with the Force. Georgiana remembered a description of Anakin Skywalker's temper.

The drugs kicked in, "I know who you are."

Vader's head turned in her direction, and he chuckled, "I am afraid you have had too much truth serum, Miss Darcy. What other conclusions have you drawn?"

"I know about Padme-"

Darcy showed up, shooting his blaster, making a scene, determined to kill this person named Darth Vader.

He hadn't done his homework. Blasters don't affect Vader's armor.

The lightsaber tore through Georgiana.

When Elizabeth showed the letter to Darcy, she started to cry.


	19. Chapter 18

Darcy dropped Elizabeth off at her house. As promised, chaos reigned.

Jane was the only person available to greet Elizabeth, as the present commotion revolved around K1T3.

"Lydia's friends sent her to us from Naboo," Jane said.

" _Her_?" Asked Elizabeth.

"They fixed K1T3. She talks with a female voice, and now she makes speeches about how irresponsible Lydia has been since we bought her."

"I'd do the same."

"Yes, it's understandable, but we need her to tell us where Lydia is."

Elizabeth didn't tell her how absolutely useless that information would be.

Darcy's ship landed on swampy ground. A short green figure approached and poked him repeatedly with a stick.

"Surprised, I should not be. Come to me, Young Skywalker has. Now, Young Darcy also. Only one complaint, I have: Bring food, you did not."

That night, Elizabeth lay on her bed thinking how nice it would be to just stay there, falling asleep. Getting up would involve a further development in the Great Search for Lydia. She didn't want to be there when they found out the truth. The truth...

"I should tell them," she thought, "I should get up and tell them right now. I'm a coward for waiting this long."

So she woke the house and said to them all, "Wickham is a spy. He's going to make Lydia tell Vader about our family's connections to the rebels."

"Are you related to Anakin Skywalker?" Darcy asked Luke.

Mrs. Bennet fainted. They dragged her onto the couch. She spent the next few hours demanding more consideration for her nerves.

When Luke left the room, Darcy said, "Luke's birth, the fall of the republic, and Darth Vader's first appearance all took place on the same day. It is vitally important that you explain the events of that day to me in terms of cause and effect."

"Ohhhh nooooo," Yoda threw his hands in the air, "Knowing is what you do not want. Find other things to want. Not that."

"It's my fault," Mr. Bennet said.

"That's not true," Jane said.

"What was I thinking, letting her on Naboo?"

"You have friends there. They should have told you sooner."

"I still should have known."

Elizabeth had left them. In her room, alone, she stared out of her window. It was her fault. She should have warned them. Lydia was probably already dead. Now it was only a matter of time before Darth Vader would show up and Force-choke them all. And of course there was the thought of Darcy finally deciding that she wasn't worth the trouble, giving up on her. Also the thought of never seeing him again.

Then, a ship parked next to their house. An overwhelming fear came upon Elizabeth. The door opened. The ramp extended. Out came Queen Catherine de Bourgh.

Mr. Gardiner pulled off an impressive flight maneuver, hovering over the dock of Vader's ship at just the right angle and velocity for Darcy to quickly and inconspicuously get on board.

Queen Catherine removed her coat, "Miss Bennet, It has come to my attention that you have formed a romantic attachment to my nephew. Is this true?"

"That is not any of your business, Your Highness."

"I understand. I also hold decency and etiquette in the highest regard. However, in this circumstance, decency and etiquette must be sacrificed for a higher purpose. It will be simpler for both of us if you merely answer me 'yes' or 'no.' I ask it again. Are you in love with Mr. Darcy?"

"I refuse to answer such a question!"

"Mr. Darcy is to marry my daughter Anne. This marriage has been arranged since the end of the Clone Wars. It is vitally important that it take place. Not for my sake alone, you understand, but for them and their children. She shall give him power and influence. He shall provide a strong mind and leadership for her people. If there should be any sort of impediment to the union, it is my responsibility to find it and remove it. Do you understand, Miss Bennet?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Promise me that if Darcy proposes marriage, you will refuse him."

"I will make no promise of the kind."

"You leave me no choice but to resort to a most uncivil form of negotiation," and she drew a lightsaber.


	20. Chapter 19

A flashback:

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, newly married, were moving into their house on Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet's younger brother, Eliot Gardiner, had just finished his Jedi training, which was nice because he could use the Force to move the furniture in and out.

"Eliot! Eliot, where are you? This chair needs to be moved," Mrs. Bennet said.

"I put it where you wanted me to."

"But it looks horrible."

"It looks fine."

"No it doesn't. What is it you Jedi are always saying to each other about feelings? Use your feelings, Eliot!"

"Search. Jedi search their feelings."

"Well you should have searched more when you put the chair in that ugly spot!"

"That doesn't...that's not..."

Her older brother Reginald was there too, hammering a picture on the wall, "We're going to war. You've got to get ready, Bennet."

"They've already got enough clones. What could any army possibly want on Longbourn?"

"Officers, probably. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you got some attractive employment opportunities soon."

Afterward, they told funny stories and sipped on Bagelian fizz drink. Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, and Eliot began to speak seriously about the war, "I know you don't believe in the Force doing anything but moving objects, Fanny, and I don't know exactly what it has in mind right now. But I'm fairly certain it wants me to give you this."

Two lightsabers hung from his belt. He removed one and gave it to Mrs. Bennet.

When her brothers had left, Mrs. Bennet looked at the lightsaber, "Just what I needed: something else to clutter up my new house." She set it on a table in the sitting room.

That night, it rolled off the table and behind the chair that Mrs. Bennet so carefully positioned, where it would remain unnoticed for twenty-five years.

Elizabeth fell over in her scramble to get away from Queen Catherine's lightsaber. Desperate for some kind of barrier, she got behind the old chair in the corner. There, she found exactly what she needed

When Wickham met Lydia on Naboo, he initiated a flirtation, which developed into a meaningless "fling". They both enjoyed that situation until she got clingy. She wouldn't let him out of her sight. She was hinting at long-term-relationship-things like Meeting Her Parents. His worst nightmare! He was just on the verge of dumping her when, in a moment of even worse indiscretion than usual, she decided to tell Wickham that her annoying sister just told her that her other annoying sister took her favorite earrings to a rebel base.

When the truth serum kicked in, Lydia squealed, "EEEEEEP!" Then she giggled like a drunk hyena and refused to stop. It was an unsuccessful interrogation. Vader and his officers were discussing how she might react to certain methods of torture when a Stormtrooper abruptly said, "I have been sent to relay classified information."

Vader lead the way to the next room, "I hope this will be worth interrupting an important interrogation, soldier."

"Of course, sir. You have been misinformed."

"In what way?"

"Padme Amidala had a second child."

Vader placed his hand on his lightsaber, "How does this information concern me?"

"You have admitted to being the father of Luke Skywalker. There was a twin."

"What reason have I to believe you?"

He pulled out an absolutely authentic Coruscant Hospital birth certificate. There, along with Luke's name, sex, and parentage, it was recorded that he had a twin sister.

"What became of the second child?"

"I will tell you if you let me go with Lydia Bennet."


	21. Chapter 20

The anonymous Stormtrooper sat in the pilot seat of a transport vessel next to Lydia. He flew a distance away before he opened an audio com-link.

"The girl was adopted. She and her family lived on Alderaan until the planet was destroyed. They were all killed in the destruction of the planet."

The com link cut off. Darcy looked out the window and saw Vader's ship shaking violently. Inside the ship, Vader was unleashing rage upon his surroundings.

It was a strange moment for Darcy. On one hand, what he had done was the lesser of three evils: (1) let the Bennets get executed for treason; (2) tell Vader the truth to save Lydia, forcing Leia into the Skywalker Family Drama; (3) make Vader believe he killed his daughter to save Lydia. On the other hand, Darcy knew that he wanted Vader to suffer for killing Georgianna. So now the whole situation was morally ambiguous, and Darcy wondered whether he had actually done the right thing. He would continue to wonder for a long time. But, really, Darcy was too hard on himself. War makes decisions, especially moral decisions, harder. And everything is more complicated in space. He was fighting a war in space.

Elizabeth had never held a lightsaber before in her life. Its power and brightness intimidated her. But fear of it would be her undoing. So when she when she stood up, she pointed the blue beam of light toward Catherine de Bourgh. They walked in a circle, intently focused on one another. Elizabeth, knowing that she faced her death, decided to strike first. She swung her lightsaber diagonally, expecting Catherine to counter. But she didn't. Instead, she dodged the path of Elizabeth's lightsaber and ran out the door.

Queen Catherine was bluffing the whole time. In reality, she and Elizabeth were pretty evenly matched. So why did she have a lightsaber at all? She would love to tell the whole backstory herself, but it really comes down to the fact that her father had been a younger son in the aristocratic Dooku family. When Count Dooku turned to the Dark Side, he made a new red lightsaber and left his old ones at the Dooku family estate, in case they were ever needed.

Aunt and Uncle Gardiner brought Lydia back to Longbourn. When they arrived, Elizabeth was still explaining why Catherine de Bourgh ran out of their house with a lightsaber.

"I found it behind the chair!"

"So basically you're saying that you defended yourself with a lightsaber that magically appeared in the corner of our living room?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying!"

Jane gave Elizabeth a blanket, "Why don't you go take a nap, dear. You've had a very hard day."

Mrs. Bennet screeched, "There's been a LIGHTSABER BATTLE in MY PARLOR, AND YOU SAY SHE'S HAVING A HARD DAY!"

And that's when Lydia showed up. Mrs. Bennet fainted.

Lydia and the Gardiners were extremely cautious when they answered questions about the rescue mission. Lydia said Mr. Gardiner had saved her single-handedly, but he insisted that it really wasn't anything to go on about. Elizabeth thought that if she ever had the chance to save someone's life, she would take all the credit she could get. The mischief in Lydia's face signaled that something was off. She started to fidget, and her smile gradually widened, until finally:

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! DARCY! IT WAS DARCY! HE DID IT! HE FIGURED OUT _EVERYTHING_ ABOUT DARTH VADER AND IT WAS _SO COOOOOOL_!"

No one got Force-choked. Lydia survived. It was still a secret that Luke had a living sister. Only the Bennets knew that the Gardiners were spies. Darcy saved them. So when he showed up at Longbourn with Bingley, Elizabeth _tried_ to be reserved and ladylike. But that didn't work out and instead there was a big Hollywood kiss.

Elizabeth kept her word. She married Darcy under the fireworks on the Moon of Endor, when the Jedi returned.


End file.
